2008

drool

i do it, so what.

my awkwardly long movie

my awkwardly long movie

“i get my new tooth next week”
— bear barker

“when you wake up laughing, you know you’re on the...”
— me, on my way to the store, to...

what happens when your soulmate is a gay bear?

brianvan: I just bought a BBQ utensil set at Duane Reade at summer clearance price. 79 cents. me...

“the only exercising we do is snapping to the theme song of...”
— michelle, to me, while we both...

dear mark,

in response to your snail mail, (which a letter will shortly be on it’s way)… I am not...

my life story

i thought you wanted it
i was pushing you away

dating

fatmanatee: cheddar: is weird, and tricklie.  I didn’t see you in Philly, so I ate an extra...

dating

is weird, and tricklie.

“i gained forty pounds this year. it was a delicious year.”
— BFF

kitty wants some candy

“we’re not out of shape, we just ate a lot”
— agreed.

Winners Circle

car talk

josh: i smell fries
me: i just yawned

“yeah, those m&ms arent in your purse anymore”
— the saddest thing someone told...

sarah palin

and most other people are idiots, idiots i’d like to rub my genitals on.

“i have a crib you can have, in case you find that nice...”
— my mom

Review of the night

fatmanatee: Other kickball team no-showed, played with random kickball team as it started...

family ties

.3 growing up my sister used to panic.  I remember one instance where she slept in a garbage bag...

i go where he tells me

brianvan: mollylambert: (via tothemaxxx) ‘sup Joan...

“Are we human or are we dancer? i’m this close to...”
— The Killers (via...

m

michelle is so big, when she sits areound the house she sits, AROUND THE HOUSE is this thing on

my son

the hardy boyz

in a god a david

Michelle: hand me that sheet
Me: the one covered in blood?
Michelle: I had a bloody toe
Me: that's what she said

“boston market”
— me, everyday

japan

i think i had an aha moment, or series of moments rather.  yeah, i’m pretty happy about...

“your muffin top just brushed my muffin top”
— emily to me, before we went...

jdate

is great, really.

125 Places to have a beer before you die.

fuck this shit

ka-cha

if you listen to carly simon on repeat on your commute, you start to feel the lyrics were meant for...

writingmyownepitaph: peterwknox: Look Out NYC, Chucky’s...

my topless roommate

whats not to love

to become a friend of mice and men.

to become a friend of mice and men.

facebook

im back in the facebook world, perhaps temporarily, or until i get out of the house.

rosa mexicana

your guacamole show was great.  see you next month.

21 day challenge

this is day one, there is a vlog, but i made it near impossible for anyone who knows me to find, out...

weekend

beach, sangria, animals, corn and talk of a ninja. it doesn’t get much better then that.

cutestkittenever: Cuteness alert (via Urs Wachter) ham...

screw you guys

i have plans! im king of the world!

limited express train to emily town

fatmanatee: cheddar: ill bring a small gift from my top dresser drawer if someone will come to the...

limited express train to emily town

ill bring a small gift from my top dresser drawer if someone will come to the movies with me, and...

last night

these are the blanks i’m trying to fill in i remember the six train, a bag of m&ms a...

anyone want to go to IFC with me later? the only rule: i...

someone said taco and the rest is history.

My Fall TV Schedule

peterwknox: skylerelizabeth: SundayFamily GuyEntourage MondayGossip...

“hang ten”
— me, to myself, figuring out...

m2 bus

your my only fan… unless we count douglas. fatmanatee: cheddar: nine times out of ten...

new roommate update from one door away.

i think he provided the bar of soap with the pubic hair on it, and also unlimited sounds of what...

m2 bus

nine times out of ten someone wearing earmuffs on thier nose means they are homeless.  ill post...

mom

its creepy that i found printouts of my online life on your nightstand.  its understandable that...

ca-ching

i’m cashing in.  i’m a cash* cow.  ’ole! *note: cash= eating

bus

on the bus a group of people took portraits of me. that was awesomely creepy, thanks guys! 

progressive

when one is happy, when does not blog.

google part 2

if i remake guest passes for myself can i get in?  nope, wait, id need that magnetic key, damn.

google

i will put out for access to the google cafeteria.  I can not stress how serious i am.  (not...

“and then you sweat”
— michelle talking to me about...

I’m fantastic at making Michelle feel special.

“you fucking log me out”
— idiot number one

i love you

writingmyownepitaph: cheddar: you know who you are, stop doubting it. Really? You mean it? ...

dear zach

wednesday night: please have robe and chocolates laid out on your bed for my arrival. i don’t...

i love you

you know who you are, stop doubting it.

ode

me: hand me that bowl of stew
me: shut up
me: sorry
me: ok, here
me: thanks
me: idiot

“did you get this lettuce out of the garbage?”
— michelle, while putting that...

love

you find out who really loves you when your struggling to stay afloat. the answer? spaghetti.  i...

yesterday

sit in dark room and cry for 7 hours or so, put on makeup and outfit and buy medicine, eat salad,...

i give up

i freaked out with my umbrell and a painting on the street, came home alone to vegan mac and cheese...

I'm not coming to the Meet-Up.

mzchristine: peterwknox: That is all. Me either, so what?  its ok, no one is in bed with me.

it's official

i am taking my second stab at going vegan.  i ordered a sandwich with no cheese for lunch....

my favorite outfit, sideways.

new followers

i dont know why you’re here, but run away while you still can. also, i hate 7 slices of...

tomorrow night!

i’ll be at the apollo.  suckers.

“no thanks”
— me to my thighs and heart...

“having a cock is like having health insurance”
— me, trying to explain that the...

wise

i ate off brand cheetos on the train, then painted my nails clear. now they have an orange tint. i...

anti tumblr meetup meetup

we will be eating, and watching african american netflix comedies in bed. weeknights from 8-930 

“i’m all ears”
— michelle when i asked if she...

peter w.

since when did you only post about teenage girl movies and sappy love?  your one post away from the...

Roosevelt Island

I went there with my boyfriend (t-dogg) this weekend.  I’ll spare you the trip: milkshakes are...

good one

someone ate my lomein and tried to cover it up by adding fried rice. this is an outrage.

cutestkittenever: I think she is the one I want to...

“Nutmeg is unacceptable.”
— overheard in the elevator (via...

“footlong please”
— me at subway, while looking...

a list of things that happen once a...

1. my vagina bleeds 2. i overdraw funds 3. i buy island hop lotion from the gap 4. i pee somewhere...

I'm coming home!

wanderingjello: cheddar: wanderingjello: if NYC = home. with a side trip to good ol’ Astoria....

I'm coming home!

wanderingjello: if NYC = home. with a side trip to good ol’ Astoria. May 20-22nd. Mark your...

since when am i mexican

can’t stop wont stop popcorn

im embarrased for you, michelle.

running

as i was changing into a more appropriate sports bra for my large physique, i caught michelle eating...

peterwknox: I was struck with a brilliant idea, last night...

salad

is anything in a bowl. michelle had a hamburger meat and ketchup salad last week.

“are you going to eat that”
— me to the three year old...

email

i received this fan mail titled “hilarious” today….you are.  i cant tell if you...

bed

one straight hour of my alarm clock did nothing. the memory of cinamon toast crunch in the cuboard...

where did this picture come from?  obviously pre chung

you guys are idiots!

fatmanatee: cheddar: fatmanatee: cheddar: and i dont read anyones posts!!! And you say I’m...

you guys are idiots!

fatmanatee: cheddar: and i dont read anyones posts!!! And you say I’m boring. Gosh.  wanna...

“i gave a cab driver a blow job”
— michelle at dinner with her...

im a dog at heart, and in the bedroom, Holla!!

you guys are idiots!

and i dont read anyones posts!!!

michelle

if you can’t change it, embrace it. i’m in love and i dont care who knows. stay tuned:...

Cinco de Mayo Chips + Drinks

fatmanatee: soupsoup: mallisser: nycmeetups: Happy Cinco de Mayo! WHAT: Chips, salsa, frozen...

sunday prediction`

i drink

cajun boy

cajunboy: cheddar: get her out of your dreams, or else… she haunts them. blame her, not me. ...

“i look like an idiot”
— michelle, while looking like...

saturday

i need a date. anyone?

blondes

me: do you smell that

read it and weep

believe it or not

fatmanatee: cheddar: fatmanatee: Wait, i’m boring? What’s up with that? are we chatting? I...

brunch

believe it or not

fatmanatee: Wait, i’m boring? What’s up with that? are we chatting?

simple pleasures

sitting in a nightgown, drinking espresso, using a back scratcher and reading casual encounters...

wtf

fatmanatee: I was randomly driving somewhere and somehow decided it was a good idea to write a...

you resemble a bearstein bear

we really need to find the brush

dave jr jr gets hungry too

“i look past a good manicure if its done by a mexican”
— pants

cajun boy

get her out of your dreams, or else…

Saturday Agenda

writingmyownepitaph: Niner wake up go in emily’s room the first words she’ll say, “what the fuck”...

wanderingjello: Free Gift Card in the mail! Oh, wait. And I...

spring fever

im in one of those moods again where self mutilation would feel great.  like, if i could take a...

great minds think alike

me: beef
3: 12 PM
Pants: thats exactly what zach said

number one reason to have a sister

me: im a milionaire
3: 48 PM
i make differences
Aimee: i eat differences

“when in doubt add more cheese”
— me to the pizza guy

marshmallow

today i feel not only pale, but also gigantic.  that didn’t stop me from having a bagel and...

“two minutes, yeah right”
— barker after thirty seconds of...

michelle

your blog won’t stop. i think i’m done with mine. wait, no. maybe. 

my friend mark

hey mark, when was jesus born i dont think that date was documented. had to be there. mark, i dig...

flannel happens for a reason

verbal chat

"i can't believe i'm going to meet a mom"
"i can't believe i'm going to meet a stranger from the u.k&quo